i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
