I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
