yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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