maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
