Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
