Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
