My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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