I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
