i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
i out mim tonsoeep
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
