It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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