so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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