That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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