just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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