I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
