I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
