dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
