dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
