If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
