my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
