they said they heard you say put it in my butt
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
