dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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