I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
