C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
