I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
