Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
