girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
