but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Sext me about skeletons
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
