Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
