He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
