Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
