I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
