i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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