I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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