weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
