i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
