oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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