im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
