Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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