the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
