why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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