Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
