is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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