you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
