dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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