If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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