You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
