I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
dude. I can hear the air.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
