fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
