my mouth tastes like poor choices
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Boobs speak an international language.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
