is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
