Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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