Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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